June 2nd, 2025
by Mark Crowe
by Mark Crowe
Renewing Our Focus: The Power of Perspective in Relationships
In our journey through life, we encounter countless relationships - as spouses, parents, children, friends, colleagues, and more. These connections shape our experiences and often define our joy and struggles. But what if the key to transforming these relationships lies not in changing others, but in shifting our own focus?
The story of one couple's 24-year marriage journey serves as a powerful testament to this truth. Like many long-term relationships, theirs had weathered storms and faced challenges. The husband admitted to years of focusing on his wife's negative attributes, a perspective that blinded him to his own shortcomings. This mindset created a cycle of frustration and conflict, leaving both partners feeling unfulfilled.
However, a pivotal moment came through an unexpected channel - a men's discipleship group studying the book of Galatians. As the husband engaged with Scripture and opened his heart to God's guidance, he received a profound challenge: to intentionally focus on his wife's positive qualities.
This shift in perspective didn't just happen overnight. It required deliberate effort and a willingness to rediscover practices from earlier in their relationship. The husband began writing letters to his wife when he traveled, a gesture of affection he had long neglected. During a tense moment working on a project together, he remembered their habit of taking walks to decompress. A simple 400-yard stroll together melted away tension and restored joy to their interaction.
The transformation continued as the group moved on to study the book of Ephesians. Initially resistant due to past conflicts centered around these scriptures, the husband found himself confronted with a new understanding. Rather than seeing Ephesians as a set of demands on his wife, he discovered a comprehensive "checklist" for his own behavior as a husband.
This checklist, derived from a careful study of Ephesians, includes powerful directives:
- Consistently give thanks for your spouse and mention them in your prayers
- Pray for your partner to receive wisdom and knowledge of God
- Demonstrate humility, gentleness, and patience
- Be quick to mend fences and maintain unity
- Speak the truth in love and avoid lying
- Manage anger without sinning and settle disagreements promptly
- Remove bitterness, wrath, and wickedness from your heart
- Show kindness, compassion, and forgiveness
- Walk in love and avoid impurity
- Give thanks always and be filled with the Holy Spirit
- Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
Perhaps most importantly, the husband gained a new perspective on the oft-misunderstood concept of being the "head" of the wife. Rather than seeing this as a position of authority, he realized his role was more akin to a cornerstone - a foundational element that provides orientation and guidance for the family structure.
This revelation led to a profound shift in how he viewed his responsibilities. Instead of focusing on his wife's submission, he recognized that his duty was to make her role easier by embodying Christ-like love and sacrifice. The challenging words of Ephesians 5:25 - "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" - took on new meaning. It wasn't a call to literal death, but an invitation to die to selfishness and love unconditionally.
The impact of this changed focus extends far beyond marriage. In every relationship, we have the power to shift our perspective from criticism to appreciation, from demands to service. When we set our minds on spiritual things rather than fleshly concerns, we open the door to life and peace (Romans 8:5-6).
Even in situations that seem hopeless, there is always potential for restoration. The image of Jesus taking a massive, lightning-struck redwood tree - split down the middle and lying on the ground - and fusing it back together stronger than before, serves as a powerful metaphor for God's ability to heal and renew even the most damaged relationships.
As we reflect on our own connections with others, we're invited to ask ourselves some challenging questions:
1. What is my current focus in my key relationships?
2. Where do I need to change or strengthen my perspective?
3. Am I harboring bitterness or resentment that needs to be released?
4. How can I practically demonstrate Christ-like love and sacrifice in my relationships today?
The prophet Isaiah provides further insight into the kind of "fasting" or spiritual discipline that truly pleases God:
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" (Isaiah 58:6-7)
This passage reminds us that our spiritual growth and our treatment of others are inextricably linked. As we remove the metaphorical yokes of expectation and judgment from our relationships, we create space for God's light to break forth in our lives.
The journey of renewing our focus is not always easy. It requires humility, intentionality, and a willingness to confront our own shortcomings. But the rewards are immeasurable - restored relationships, increased joy, and a deeper connection with God and others.
As we move forward, let's commit to examining our perspectives regularly. Are we quick to point fingers and speak wickedness, or are we extending our souls to meet the needs of those around us? Are we honoring the Sabbath - not just as a day off, but as a deliberate time to delight in the Lord and His ways?
By shifting our focus from criticism to compassion, from self-interest to sacrificial love, we open ourselves to experience the promise of Isaiah 58:11: "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."
May we all have the courage to change our focus, trusting that as we align our perspectives with God's heart, He will bring healing, restoration, and abundant life to our relationships and our world.
(This blog was created from Mark Crowe's original sermon by pulpit.ai)
In our journey through life, we encounter countless relationships - as spouses, parents, children, friends, colleagues, and more. These connections shape our experiences and often define our joy and struggles. But what if the key to transforming these relationships lies not in changing others, but in shifting our own focus?
The story of one couple's 24-year marriage journey serves as a powerful testament to this truth. Like many long-term relationships, theirs had weathered storms and faced challenges. The husband admitted to years of focusing on his wife's negative attributes, a perspective that blinded him to his own shortcomings. This mindset created a cycle of frustration and conflict, leaving both partners feeling unfulfilled.
However, a pivotal moment came through an unexpected channel - a men's discipleship group studying the book of Galatians. As the husband engaged with Scripture and opened his heart to God's guidance, he received a profound challenge: to intentionally focus on his wife's positive qualities.
This shift in perspective didn't just happen overnight. It required deliberate effort and a willingness to rediscover practices from earlier in their relationship. The husband began writing letters to his wife when he traveled, a gesture of affection he had long neglected. During a tense moment working on a project together, he remembered their habit of taking walks to decompress. A simple 400-yard stroll together melted away tension and restored joy to their interaction.
The transformation continued as the group moved on to study the book of Ephesians. Initially resistant due to past conflicts centered around these scriptures, the husband found himself confronted with a new understanding. Rather than seeing Ephesians as a set of demands on his wife, he discovered a comprehensive "checklist" for his own behavior as a husband.
This checklist, derived from a careful study of Ephesians, includes powerful directives:
- Consistently give thanks for your spouse and mention them in your prayers
- Pray for your partner to receive wisdom and knowledge of God
- Demonstrate humility, gentleness, and patience
- Be quick to mend fences and maintain unity
- Speak the truth in love and avoid lying
- Manage anger without sinning and settle disagreements promptly
- Remove bitterness, wrath, and wickedness from your heart
- Show kindness, compassion, and forgiveness
- Walk in love and avoid impurity
- Give thanks always and be filled with the Holy Spirit
- Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
Perhaps most importantly, the husband gained a new perspective on the oft-misunderstood concept of being the "head" of the wife. Rather than seeing this as a position of authority, he realized his role was more akin to a cornerstone - a foundational element that provides orientation and guidance for the family structure.
This revelation led to a profound shift in how he viewed his responsibilities. Instead of focusing on his wife's submission, he recognized that his duty was to make her role easier by embodying Christ-like love and sacrifice. The challenging words of Ephesians 5:25 - "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" - took on new meaning. It wasn't a call to literal death, but an invitation to die to selfishness and love unconditionally.
The impact of this changed focus extends far beyond marriage. In every relationship, we have the power to shift our perspective from criticism to appreciation, from demands to service. When we set our minds on spiritual things rather than fleshly concerns, we open the door to life and peace (Romans 8:5-6).
Even in situations that seem hopeless, there is always potential for restoration. The image of Jesus taking a massive, lightning-struck redwood tree - split down the middle and lying on the ground - and fusing it back together stronger than before, serves as a powerful metaphor for God's ability to heal and renew even the most damaged relationships.
As we reflect on our own connections with others, we're invited to ask ourselves some challenging questions:
1. What is my current focus in my key relationships?
2. Where do I need to change or strengthen my perspective?
3. Am I harboring bitterness or resentment that needs to be released?
4. How can I practically demonstrate Christ-like love and sacrifice in my relationships today?
The prophet Isaiah provides further insight into the kind of "fasting" or spiritual discipline that truly pleases God:
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" (Isaiah 58:6-7)
This passage reminds us that our spiritual growth and our treatment of others are inextricably linked. As we remove the metaphorical yokes of expectation and judgment from our relationships, we create space for God's light to break forth in our lives.
The journey of renewing our focus is not always easy. It requires humility, intentionality, and a willingness to confront our own shortcomings. But the rewards are immeasurable - restored relationships, increased joy, and a deeper connection with God and others.
As we move forward, let's commit to examining our perspectives regularly. Are we quick to point fingers and speak wickedness, or are we extending our souls to meet the needs of those around us? Are we honoring the Sabbath - not just as a day off, but as a deliberate time to delight in the Lord and His ways?
By shifting our focus from criticism to compassion, from self-interest to sacrificial love, we open ourselves to experience the promise of Isaiah 58:11: "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."
May we all have the courage to change our focus, trusting that as we align our perspectives with God's heart, He will bring healing, restoration, and abundant life to our relationships and our world.
(This blog was created from Mark Crowe's original sermon by pulpit.ai)
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